The Thing People DON'T Regret When Dying

In the book “The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying” by Bronnie Ware, she reports that patients on their death bed most commonly regretted the following:

1) I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2) I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

3) I wish I had the courage to express my feelings.

4) I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5) I wish that I had let myself be happier.

No where on that list is “I wish I was thinner”! Or “I wish I never had grey hair!”

And yet, we have been conditioned to focus SO MUCH on our body size and appearance that most people don’t realize how much time and energy it consumes in their day (i.e. their life) until they stop.

I truly believe we are always doing the best we can in every given moment. So there is no shame in having spent so much time fixated on your body. It makes sense considering our culture’s obsession with image, and misunderstanding that we need to focus on controlling our body size in order to be healthy.

Let’s reflect for a moment at how much our fixation on body size and appearance is directly connected to the #1 regret of the dying: I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

How much of your desire to be thinner or “look good” is really for you?

I hear people say “I care about how I look, I feel better when I “look good”. Ok - let’s break that down:

• Where did you get the idea of “looking good” from? Is it really “your” idea of “looking good” or does it come from consuming image after image of what you’ve been told “looks good”?
  

• Do you care as much about “looking good” if your home by yourself? Or does it matter more when you go out?
  

• Does the “feeling better” that comes from “looking good” really just feeling safer from the fear of judgement?
  

• Do you care about “looking good” or does it give a sense of worthiness that you don’t otherwise feel in yourself if you don’t look a certain way?

Oof! Did some of those questions really hit? Sometimes we need to see where this desire/fixation on our appearance comes from, to be able to check in with ourselves and if it’s what we truly desire to be spending our time on.

The truth is that body acceptance work brings up all the stuff! It’s why you’re in the small minority of people looking in this direction.

But what body acceptance work also does is enable you to live a life true to yourself, so that you won’t have as many (or any) regrets upon dying!

I really believe it’s a worthwhile, noble pursuit. Because you only have this one life as you.

My own personal journey in accepting my body lead me to know I wanted to specilaize my coaching in helping people with this aspect of their lives. Because I know how tough the process can be, but I also know the power in reclaiming your body for yourself (not to please others).

Visit www.kristinabruce.com/services to see how I may be of support to you.